You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Drunk is not a location!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
