so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
