there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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