I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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