My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
