he puts the penis in happiness.
that's an acceptable place to lick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
