I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
