so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
