On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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