Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
