NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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