so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
