I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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