Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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