i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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