I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
