She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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