Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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