Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
