I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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