you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
