Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
