So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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