The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
