is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
