Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the day after is always just damage control
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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