I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I bet he comes in French.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
