You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
