Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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