omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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