I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
