I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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