does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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