Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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