i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
