wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
