It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
