i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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