I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
