so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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