so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
