I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
