why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
