He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
