i would punch a child for taco bell
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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