Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
