If that was your dad, he is hot
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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