mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
