Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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