found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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