Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
